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Monday 30 January 2017

Prickly business

thistle, prickly business
And we thought 2016 was bad.
I despair at the news. I despair at politics. I don't know what's going on with the wider world.
Earlier this month I wrote about being careful with words and it seems that my personal view on things isn't reflected by everyone else. To my disappointment a prime moment to speak up against prejudice presented itself at work and my split second decision was to bite my tongue in order not to 'upset' a client is one that has been bothering me. A conflict of interest. It feels that in life nothing is clear cut or straightforward; you can never be fully 'yourself' without somehow causing yourself more trouble than towing the line and playing the part.
It's been bothering me more and more.
Ploughing through everything no-matter-what comes with consequences.
Everything seems to be more complicated than first thought.
As a child you imagine that adults are the epitome of balance and control, that adults have everything sorted and no worries. With every passing year I become more aware of just how wrong I was; worries that you can't even imagine exist become daily concern, insecurities, the abyss of 'the future'.... need I go on.
Being an adult seems to be 90% made up of faking some sort of 'I've got this' rather than 'help, I've got no idea what I'm doing'. Nor can I explain the actions of others.
It's baffling.
I posted on Twitter just the other day
 which I suspect is the best course of action. Indulge-in and share some good stuff; small time and irrelevant as it may be, just find some grains of goodness and grow them into something worthwhile.

Sophie