Imposter

Tuesday, August 02, 2016

imposter blogger
So often here I can feel like I'm an imposter.
Much as I adore taking pictures with my camera then writing my thoughts down to empty my mind, with the end result complete and scheduled for publishing, doubt creeps in. I'm convinced that with every coming post I'll be rumbled as a clueless pretender, that you'll realise actually I'm rubbish at producing content. Somehow, I've got away with it day after day for years. One day someone will notice that actually I'm just no good. In real life nobody considers me creative.

Thinking back to when I was younger I was always interested in writing things down. Little poems. Thoughts. Notes to people. Letters. Lists. Writing stories. As a child I was happy left to write whatever I fancied, but remember the lack of interest with which they were received when I excitedly read them out. Naturally, you can't please everyone. Grandparents did seem much more easily impressed by things. One memory that really sticks in my mind was when I created a little story book and illustrated it myself when I was around 10. The paper was some curious old fashioned writing paper and string was threaded through a hole in each sheet to keep them together. The story itself was about a few friends joining a football team. My handwriting was abominable; the letters all different shapes and sizes, weaving their way round the pages and defying gravity.

Recently, I found the book again in the stash of things Mum keeps from our childhoods. Knowing it would be there (they weren't all that many things worthy of keeping) it filled me with nostalgia seeing the paper again. The mini book obviously had an impact on my (paternal) grandfather; when I was 15 and the question of career paths reared it's ugly head I received a typewritten letter from him. This baffled me slightly, but even more than the idea of him writing to me was what he actually wrote. He questioned whether I had considered becoming an author as the story about the footballers I had read out some years before had stuck with him. My grandfather put forward the suggestions of how I could go about writing a book and the realistic practicalities of being a writer. I dug out the letter a few minutes ago, knowing exactly where to find it. Reading through it brought a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat. His enthusiasm and sincerity was touching; the letter came with a sheet of notes jotted down with perhaps how to create an ideas board for a story's format.
Racking my brains I can honestly say that nobody else has ever encouraged my writing in the least, not even vaguely. Perhaps he would have been the only one to support my blog. Perhaps, in the back of my mind his letter written in 2001 gave me the thumbs up to go ahead with writing down my thoughts, sharing my ideas. No, I'm not ready to consider writing a book yet. Probably no more so than half a lifetime ago, but that's not to say never.

Sadly, my grandfather passed away several years ago, before I started this blog. I like to think that even if everyone else in my family were to disapprove of it (if they were to find out - you know I like to keep things to myself) that my grandfather would have enjoyed being an approver against the flow.

That letter is one I will treasure forever. Someone had faith in my creativity.

Sophie

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8 comments

  1. I am so glad you still have the letter. Yes, he would be incredibly proud of you, and rightly so. You do have a gift with words so keep on writing!

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  2. Far from an imposter Sophie you are incredibly creative.I love your photos and your thoughts and the way you love life and the simple beautiful things in it,and the way you put things seem effortless and natural,I seek out your posts because they bring a smile to my face and remind me of better times,I'm a Paramedic,have been one for 29 years but it doesn't get easier,last week the last things I read before going to work were your posts and I can honestly say they made a difference and helped me through a difficult week.You have a real eye and a real talent thank You so much.

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  3. Your writing in the last few years has developed beautifully, hence why I asked you if your secret project you mentioned a while back was a creative writing course,such was the change in your prose. You are not a fraud-you have love for the world around you and it shines through your words.
    Your letter from your Grandfather touched my heart in more ways than one as my Grandfather wrote me a typewritten letter once and sent it in the post. He had an idea for an orchestra piece and he wrote 7pages describing it and said he was commissioning me to write it, such was his faith in my ability as a composer. I never completed it though I have my sketched melodies and some completed sections of it. I played extracts of it at his funeral as a piano reduction.
    Like me, you will fulfill his ambition for you at some point-it matters not when, but the seed is there.x

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  4. You are no way an imposter you write very creative enjoyable blog , your photos are great and you always show your love of the countryside and the enjoyment you get from it ,keep it up because I for one always look forward to your next blog and tweets. x

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  5. Thank you for sharing the memories of your story book and the letter from your grandfather Sophie; such touching memories. In my eyes, to call yourself an imposter couldn't be further from the truth. You have a real talent for photography and prose, and they way you weave both together here is nothing short of amazing. Don't doubt yourself: you are a greater inspiration than I think you give yourself credit for and I for one always look forward to your updates (and your happy good morning tweets!)

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  6. <3 Far from an imposter. I feel a lot of doubt in my ability at work, and in life. But, then I get flashbacks and signs of encouragement from the smallest of incidents and remember how much I DO love writing.
    x x x

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  7. Don't overthink Soohie you are very good its nicer reading a personal account you can always find overblown self-important blogs if you want to, but they are predictable and sometime too slick to be real. Your thoughts are important and gives your blog a natural informative and more interesting feel. More power to your elbow 😄

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  8. Oh Sophie, doing what you love, from the heart does not an imposter make. Keep doing it, keep doing what you enjoy. You have lots of support, the fact that people return to your blog time, after time, is clear evidence of that.
    Sometimes it needs to be said out loud (or written in this case), you ARE creative, you DO write beautifully, and I'd be very sad if you ever decided to stop.

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I love to hear your thoughts and I always like to return the favour. Thanks for dropping by x

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Sometimes I am sent items to feature as part of a post and these will be clearly mentioned as part of each post.Everything else is bought by myself. Any sponsored or collaboration posts will be clearly marked. Each post is my own content and all opinions are honest.