Goodbye Grandma

Friday, June 27, 2014


My Grandmother passed away a couple of weeks back, the funeral was held recently. It was pretty darn sad to see that someone so lovely had such a small turnout for her final goodbye. When you get really old I suppose many of your friends and family do die off before you, then when you become unable to go out people do drift away over the years.

I have great memories of my Grandma (and Grandpa), we had such fun together. One of the most prominent memories I have about Grandma is that she always used to have a twinkle in her eye, she was always pleased to see us and was ready to have a giggle. She would be happy to get stuck in with anything and I never remember her getting cross or grumpy. Firm but fair, yes but never angry or disagreeable.

The nicest thing about my Grandma was that she never seemed to outwardly judge anyone, the amount of times I can recall her saying something to the effect of “everyone is different and it's a good job too or the world would be a pretty boring place” which of course is very true and from my perspective a particularly unusual viewpoint of someone of her generation.

There was one time when I was about 14 and Grandma was telling us about all the sights and sounds of somewhere she'd been and she meant to say they had a juggler in the shopping centre but instead said gigolo which made us roar with laughter when she realised her mistake!

Grandma never told me I was getting fat, nor criticised anything I said or did. She always asked after what I was getting up to, was interested in everything going on but never demanded any details like they were her right to know.

She was always a busy person, pottering about with odd jobs and even arthritis didn't have much luck slowing her down. Although it must have made things difficult she never let it drag her down or used it as a (valid) excuse for not doing things, she just quietly went about her business as she had always done.

Sadly, over the past few years Grandma was set upon by dementia which at first was just forgetfulness but towards the end seemed more like a total timewarp for her, with little to no idea about times. On a visit before Christmas I spent a while with her, painting her nails and chatting but only an hour later she had no memory of seeing me at all. The same happened with someone else, only five minutes after they left. So sad.

The lady I remember as my Grandma was the bright and sprightly one who only faded over the last four or so years. She had expressed how she just wanted to pass away in her sleep, which wasn't as soon as she'd hoped but at least the bad times for her weren't too drawn out.

It's still sad to say that final goodbye.

The picture is one of mine from last year that won a prize in a local photography competition.


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  1. That's a lovely testament to i'm sure a lovely lady. I'm sorry for your loss, Carrie x

  2. Lovely post.
    I lost my Mum to cancer in February and know how important the memories are that they leave us with. Am sure your Gran would have liked how you remember her, when she was well and fun and wise.

    Heather :)

  3. I'm sorry about your Grandma but it's really lovely that you have these memories to look back at.

  4. My thoughts are with you Sophie.
    I lost my last grandparent recently, an the world seemed like a lonelier place, but now I just hink of all the good memories and I feel so much better.
    Gems x

  5. This was so lovely, it makes me really want to visit my grandparents and make more memories with them. I'm really sorry for your loss x

  6. Sorry to hear of your lost. I lost my gran back five years ago in August, still feels like yesterday at times. We weren't close but from hear I caught the embroidery and crocheting bug, and through her I started my powder compact collection. So while we weren't close together in life, she's still surrounding me everyday.

  7. so sorry for your loss, such a beautifully written post.


  8. So sorry that you lost her. Dementia is a mean one- it makes the last few years sad. A lovely memory post about her. x

  9. She sounds like a wonderful lady to have had in your life. Cherish the memories and smile when you think of her x

  10. Your grandmother sounds like she was such a wonderful effervescent person. A real joy. It is heart breaking to hear about her dementia. There is one thing that I value above everything else in the world and that is my memories so when I hear of dementia and Alzheimer's it feels heavy in my heart. For that reason I think you are a super grand daughter to have stuck in there with her.

    I lost my mother and grandmother within 5 years of each other and it was a heavy blow to my teenage years I don't think I can ever shake that. Goodbyes are painful and sad and the feelings never really leave us but remembering all those beautiful happy times helps. It really does.

    Thank you for sharing this story dear. Thank you!

  11. So sorry to hear about your loss, so sad. My Gran has recently moved into a home (aged 94) and has changed quite rapidly from a very sprightly independent woman to a very forgetful lady, such a shame but I guess we should be happy that they had such a full life.

  12. I'm so sorry for your loss Sophie. Really is so hard to say goodbye to people. Thankfully, I haven't had to attend a funeral in such a long time now, as my grandparents (all four of them) passed away a long time ago. I'm sure she would have been looking down at you all and thanking you for a beautiful send off.

    Dementia is a horrible thing to go through or to witness someone go through, but you just have to hope for them that now they've passed, all the bad has been taken from them and they are left with only good.

    Lots of love <3


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